Why the iPad Won’t Work for Bloggers

With all the hype surrounding the recent release of the highly anticipated iPad, it only made sense that I got in on the action.  Everyone’s talking about them, hundreds of thousands are using them and they just won’t work for bloggers.  Here’s why.

The keyboard is completely unusable.

Ok, so when I type, I can’t waste time looking down at the keyboard.  I know I’m looking right at the screen that actually contains the keyboard, but I can’t be burdoned by a touch screen that has no tactile function that allows me to know which button my fingers are touching.  Have you seen the raging success the Blackberry storm is?  What with it’s synaptic technology, they need to have this on the iPad.  Another formidable recommendation?  Put little divets where the F and the J would be so I don’t have to look down anymore.  Nevermind the fact that that would completely take away from the smooth sexiness of the glass screen or get in the way of flipping through photo albums.  I’m a blogger, I need to be able to type unhindered.

And, the thought of toting along a keyboard dock makes feel like I’m taking crazy pills.

Too heavy with not enough function.

So I know it’s only 1.5 lbs, but I can’t exactly place it in my shirt pocket.  iPad is nothing but a large iPhone that’s harder to carry because of the size.  Sure I can just slide it into a messenger bag, spin it on my pinky and use it’s stunning display to give amazing web site presentations, but when it comes to actually blogging, this doesn’t help me at all!  I can write, right?  Pages is awesome if I’m writing a dissertation on the giraffe poop problem in west Africa.  But what about my imagery?  I can’t put photoshop on this bad boy to make my own graphics, I can’t use Illustrator, I’m only stuck with stock imagery, pictures I take with my iphone then import into iPad or photos from Flickr using the Photo Dropper plugin.  This just isn’t going to work for a blogger.

No camera.

Seriously?  Why wuold you not include a camera with the iPad.  This is just a deal breaker for me, and I’m being serious about this.  This is the single function that kept me from making this purchase.  Let me play something out for you.  I’m at a conference, I’m blogging live, I want to include an image from the event in my latest post.  How would I do this?  I have to whip out my stinkin iPhone and take a picture, take out a usb iPhone cable, plug it into the iPad, import it to photos, then upload it using the WordPress app.  What a royal pain in the arse.  How am I ever going to replace my iPhone with a bigger better version without a camera?

iPad screams, “Crack me, just go ahead, bust my pretty face!”

Have you ever dropped your iPhone?  I was in denial for at least 15 minutes when I dropped mine and cracked the beautiful screen.  I had to put my head in between my legs just to keep myself from passing out.  Guess what’s going to happen when this sleek “heavy” device slips out of your butter fingers?  “Smash”, “Shatter”, “Crack”.  It wouldn’t take much for this “magical and revolutionary product” to be a cloudy vision, light headed nightmare of hoping you can get your new dream fixed without breaking the bank.  Bloggers need a rugged, hardy device that they don’t have to worry about getting smashed all the time.  I’m a blogger, and I should know.  I drop my crap all the time.  That’s why I got an Otterbox from my bro at SunJammers.

I can’t get any work done while I’m watching movies.

So how am I supposed to get anything done watching Disney movies on that big beautiful screen?  When I’m blogging, the one thing that keeps me from getting out new and informative posts is watching videos online.  If I was carrying a slick device that had 15 gigs of my favorite animated classics I wouldn’t ever get to teach you anything.  What’s worse, is that when I’m watching something, I double tap the screen and it makes widescreen videos take up the whole screen.  THE WHOLE SCREEN! Have you seen the colors on this thing?  Frickin amazing, dude.

Not to mention how much it would suck to get my butter fingers all over the screen.  I’m a blogger, this just won’t work.

Note: I’m an Apple freak.  I have two Macs, two iPhones and a iPod touch.  I love their OS, love their user interface and sell the iPhone to Crackberry addicts all the time (and have converted I don’t know how many).  Most of this post is dripping with sarcasm.  I will have an iPad, and I actually think it is quite a revolutionary tool that will change the way people do business.  In fact, we have no idea just how much the iPad will change how we do things – we’ll look back in astonishment 12 months from now.  But, I figured with all the hype, I’d talk about the things that suck about it, whether they are valid or not.  Some of this is real, some isn’t.  It’s important to be different.  With that, I still won’t buy one until there is a camera.


Tagged as: ipad